


It's Always Darkest Before The Light

by Clumsella



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-20 11:08:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12431508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clumsella/pseuds/Clumsella
Summary: Louis becomes a dad at age 24, and struggles to fulfill the high demands of his son's mother and ex girlfriend Briana.When she threatens to take away his son, his most precious love, he turns to extremes to make ends meet.Harry has reached his breaking point. He is 22 year's old and loved by millions of fans world wide, but feels suffocatingly lonely.Fate interferes, and the two seemingly unalike guys meet, finding comfort in their similarities, despite all odds.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own 1D. No harm is intended.  
> This is pure fiction - all's love!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own 1D, no harm is intended!  
> Kudos to my lovely beta!!

Louis’ POV

It was 11:20 pm and Louis still had a bit of time left. He always made sure to get to his appointments early to prepare himself. Even if he had been up to this for a bit, should have gotten the hang of it already, he still needed some time to calm down before facing the music.

He’d parked his car at a closed convenience store as he usually did, and walked the rest of the way. It was a cold October night, no stars to be seen, the icy wind biting at the exposed skin of his colourless cheeks. Louis wrapped his jacket tighter around himself, trying to warm up by walking faster. His beanie was thin, only building a minor barrier between the cold air and himself.

He would have worn something warmer, if he’d had something to choose from. He was already wearing his warmest clothes. Winter would prove to be quite the challenge for him.

Once Louis had reached the appointed corner at the end of the block, he stopped and took out his phone. ~~~~A moment later he heard the honk of a car. ‚Classy’, he thought, and slowly strolled over to the smooth, silver Audi that had just arrived.

He tried to look casual, cool even, instead of nervous as fuck and slightly sick - feelings that were sure to appear every time he was out and about to meet someone new.

„Tom, right?“ the guy in the driver’s seat asked as the window rolled down.

„Yes. You’re James then?“ he asked, checking the guy’s looks. Dark hair, dark eyes, mediocre build, mediocre looks. His Craigslist profile picture did promise something better, but who didn’t sort of cheat when it came to these pictures, always taking them at the best angle, the best light.

„Yes, I am. Get in!“ James said, not exactly unfriendly, but not exactly charmingly either.

Louis got into the car, sliding into the passenger seat smoothly.

James looked him over, obviously checking him out, as far as that was possible with the only light coming from the street lamps close by. He put the car in gear, so he must have been at least satisfied with what he saw.

Louis knew he could have put in a little more effort, he just couldn’t be bothered anymore. It would all be over soon. At least he so hoped anyways.

„So, what does that pretty face of yours costs?“ James asked lewdly.

Louis refrained from rolling his eyes. „50 quid, like I said!“

James squinted, his lips turning downward.

He drove for a bit, before parking the car in an abandoned looking side street.

He pushed his seat as far back as it would go, leaning back, an expectant look in his rather cold eyes.

„Well, what are you waiting for? Put that pretty mouth of yours to good use, let me see if I get my money’s worth.“

„First the money, then the service. I promise you will enjoy yourself.“ Louis said, automatically tensing up.

 

This could go several ways. The good ~~~~, the bad ~~~~, or the very bad way. He never knew what to expect with strangers.

James took his wallet out of his back pocket, handing Louis the money. „Get started ~~~~before I get bored and change my mind.“

Louis put the money safely in his pocket and took a deep breath, before putting on his most seductive grin and getting to work.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave some love!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own 1D.  
> No harm is intended. The usual.  
> Love to the beta!

Louis POV

When Louis got home, it was well past 5 am in the morning. He tried to close the door as quietly as possible and toed his Toms off, holding his breath as one hit the floor a bit louder than intended.

He listened intently, releasing a breath when he was sure ~~~~he had not woken the girls or his mom.

He dragged his dead tired body up the stairs, ~~~~heading to the bathroom ~~~~for a much-needed shower. He turned the heat up as far as it would go, waiting for the water to warm up. The old lines always took ages.

He closed his eyes, letting the water pelt down on his body, which was slowly but surely warming up. Even though Louis’ skin turned an angry pink ~~~~ ~~~~the water was never hot enough. No matter how much he scrubbed his body, he never felt fully clean.

In the beginning he would cry each night. He’d almost rub his skin raw, trying to remove the remains of the men who had touched him, trying to get rid of the smell that would cling to his abused body. By

now he’d mostly managed to suppress those feelings, but when he closed his eyes he was always able to feel them, all over his skin.

Louis wondered for the umpteenth time if he was doing the right thing, if he’d made the right choice. He wasn’t even sure there really had been one.

When his step father had left the family, he had stepped up and had taken up the responsibility of helping his mother raise his sisters. Money had always been tight, but they’d managed. Louis got a job as soon as he was old enough, trying to help as best as he could.

His first real job at been at the cinema, selling tickets and popcorn, cleaning up once the movie was over and everyone had left. This was were he’d met his very first real girlfriend.  
Her name had been Eleanore and they had been in a relationship for ages before they called it quits. He had really loved her and their break up was followed by a tumultuous period in his life, a few flings along the way.

Briana had been one of them. Young, immensely beautiful if a bit shallow, and exciting. They had hit it off right away, casual sex and all.

One day she had called him, in tears. He had rushed over and anxiously listened as she told him that she was pregnant and that he was going to be a father in couple of months.

Louis had just sat there, wide eyed, not knowing what to say. He had been in shock.  
Being a father at the age of 25 had not been his plan. He’d had enough on his plate as it was.  
Reality and panic had begun to set in. When she’d put her hand on his shoulder to wake him from his stupor after having asked the same question twice, he had jumped up and shied away from her. His panic had turned into rage.

„You’ve got to be kidding me!? That can’t be true, I mean, I always took care of protection and everything! You’re lying for sure. Or if you aren’t, how do I know that kid’s even mine?“  
He ’d known he was spouting off nonsense but he’d been in panic mode, fear taking over his common sense.

Her teary eyes had turned cold at that.

The paternity test he had insisted upon had shown what he had in retrospect already known. He really was going to be a dad.

At first, they had tried to make it work, going on proper dates, asking the right questions, meeting the parents.

It soon had turned out that no matter how much they, or specifically he, tried, it would never work out. Briana was constantly on edge, constantly worrying about their future, about how HE was going to make it all work.

She was always nagging him about how his job at the local store was not paying enough for what she had planned for her son. The more they fought, the more often she would say that this was not what she wanted for her son. ‚Her’ being the key word. Every time he did something that was wrong in her eyes, their soon-to-be born son Freddie would be her son, not theirs.

It had hurt Louis. Each accusation hit too close to home, confirming his own insecurities, which he had been harbouring ever since his biological father had divorced his mom.

He felt more and more worthless.

For the sake of their baby boy they had decided to break up, to focus on being parents.

The day Freddie was born had been the luckiest day in his life. Louis had never known what this whole thing about loving someone else more than you love yourself and all that shite meant, until he held Freddie Reign Tomlinson in his arms for the very first time.

Louis had hoped that having their baby boy would help with their relationship and with her moodiness, her constant anger which was always directed at him.

It didn’t. If anything, it only got worse.

„If you don’t support us the way we deserve, you don’t deserve us!“ Briana had threatened him one day, after he had failed to show up with enough money to buy the cute little shoes Briana had insisted Freddie needed.

She would throw these threats at him more and more often and he was on the brink of breaking down. She made it clear that she was serious.

„You are insufficient to be Freddie’s dad. Do you know what it means to be a dad? It means that you have to take care of your family and love them unconditionally.“ Briana had screamed in his face.

Louis had tried to reason with her.

„Briana, don’t be unreasonable, you know that Freddie is the most important person in my life. I love him with all my heart, he’s everything to me! Please don’t be like this!“

„Please don’t be like this? What the fuck do you want to tell me? Is this my fault now? Am I the one who promised to take care of us and failed to deliver? Do you want to tell me that it’s me who’s a total failure?“ Briana had lost it then and thrown Louis out of her house. She hadn’t even let him put on his shoes.

Which was why he had walked home barefoot. Louis had collapsed on his bed in his bedroom, crying. He felt his whole world break down around him, with himself right in the middle, with no way to escape.

He couldn’t tell his mom about his issues. She had enough on her plate as it was, working overtime, trying her best to be a good mother to his sisters. He couldn’t and wouldn’t bother her with his baby mama drama. He would find a solution for this.

The solution had come a few days later, when he had strolled the streets of Leeds. He drove here sometimes, walking or driving around aimlessly. Sometimes when he didn’t have the money to buy the fuel - which was most of the time to be honest, everything he earned went straight to Freddie, or Briana to be precise - he would just park somewhere and watch the by passers.

It was on one of these nights that a car had stopped next to him, a guy hitting on him, asking him straight forward what a ride would cost.

At first Louis had been dumbstruck, then he had gotten angry and screamed at the guy to fuck off. As if he looked like a damn prostitute!! The nerve, really!

The incident had followed him, and he still thought about it days later. It wasn’t so much the thought of sex with a guy that put him off, he was bi, he’d had one or two flings with guys in his „wild phase“ after Eleanor. But he was not sure whether he could really do it, have sex for money.

Days later he found himself on the same street again, walking slowly, nervously.  
When a car pulled over he almost fainted, he wanted to run away. The guy looked like he had done this before. Louis got into his car, but once the guy talked to him about „what he would do for money“ Louis got the creeps, jumped out and ran away as fast as his feet would carry him.

Two days later he tried again, having talked himself up to it, deciding on using „Tom“ as his pseudonym. That’s what you did, at least that’s what he had read online. _Don’t tell them your real name. Don’t kiss. Don’t tell them personal things. Always handle the money part first. Make sure to use protection._

He had drunk a few shots of very cheap vodka beforehand, to brave himself up.

Once it was over, once the guy - his very first "customer" - had left, he vomited all over the kerb.

The guy had been nice enough, almost gentle, as if sensing that it was Louis' first time like this. They had done it in the car with Louis' back turned to the guy, who was draped over him. Louis had tried to block it all out and just do the deed mechanically. The guy had tried to kiss him, but Louis had moved out of the way, diverting the unwanted action. He had tried to keep the small whimpers in, not in the least bit able to enjoy himself. A few tears had escaped, as he wondered how everything had come down to this.

It was over rather fast.

When he finally made it home, he felt ashamed and dirty, disgusted with himself. He showered four times in a row.

The next day he walked over to the house Briana’s parents lived in, and handed her the money he had earned.

That day he got to spend the first hour in three weeks with Freddie.  


It was pure bliss and worth it, he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are the icing on my cake. xox


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything, besides great friends and a dirty mind.

Harry’s POV

 

_„Look into the camera Harry!“_

_„Can someone please fix this mess of_ _hair of his?!“_

_„Hurry up, we have another interview_ _in one hour!“_

Everyone was shouting every which way. Harry couldn’t focus on any of it. 

He was so tired. Tired still from the tour they had just finished, tired from the about 30 interviews they had had in the last couple of days, tired of every appointment with magazines that wanted another picture of the glorious boyband.

Everyone wanted a piece of the cake.

Harry had originally been over the moon when they had been put into a band at X Factor.

Niall, Liam, Zayn and himself had hit it off right away. They were meant to be, really.

The first few months had been a blur of screaming fans, interviews, photoshoots and a hype that was so big he lacked the words to describe it.

Harry remembered when they had arrived in France. They had gotten off the train and screaming masses of fangirls had been waiting for them.

They had surrounded them, the noise so loud he would not be able to hear clearly for hours later. It had taken him a bit to realize that he could not feel the ground underneath his feet anymore, as he and the others had been lifted and carried by the masses of fans.

It had been a crazy, bloody fantastic time.

A few months turned into years and what at first was exciting and had them up all night on a high better than anything drugs could probably provide, had left him exhausted.

Sure, all of them were exhausted, tired and homesick. But Harry had hit rock bottom. He could hardly move, his eyes constantly glazed over because he never got to relax.

Niall touched his shoulder to get his attention amid the craziness, catching up to Harry’s lack of present-ness. „Hey Haz, you want to get plastered after all of this is over? I sure could use a pint or three after this!“

„Thanks mate, but I really just want to get home and hit the mattress. I’m about to pass out, that’s how tired I am. I could use like a week of proper sleep and my mom’s cooking.“

„No worries Haz, go home and relax. You can join us next time, there sure will be one!“ Niall said, winking.

Harry was sure there would be a next time, and a next, and a next one after that one.

Once most people had left he sat down on the nearest very posh and uncomfortable couch, just to take a breather.

 

After another couple of hours - it felt like ages really - he was let off the hook, mostly because their management could surely see that Harry had almost reached his breaking point.

He got a car and drove to the hotel their management had booked for them for tonight.

 

He always insisted on getting a car. Driving provided a bit of peace to his constantly rattled mind. Once he had parked the car upfront he handed the keys over to the valet. Who really needed a valet anyways?

 

Modest had managed to keep their one- night stay in Leeds top secret, so he was only met by two or three Directioners outside of his hotel. He signed autographs and took a picture with them, always trying to be his charming, poster boy self for their fans. They owed it all to them. Once they had happy grins plastered on their faces, not really seeing his own, exhausted, faked one, he got his keys and went up into his room.

 

Harry had never been able to figure out how their fans always found out about their whereabouts. The boys and himself used to joke that there sure had to be mole somewhere in their team, it was just over the top crazy. Most of the time it amused them to no end, the fact that their fans always found them. Sometimes it was a bit creepy as well, fans could get rather scary.

 As usual they had the best rooms available. He was always a bit thrown off by all the luxury they were surrounded with. Who cared about Egyptian linens and huge glass showers, 60” flat screen TVs, when all you longed for was sleep, endless hours of sleep.

 Harry took a quick shower, not bothering to take his time, and got into bed.

 That’s where the problem usually started. It was now finally quiet. Too quiet. Which meant the loneliness crept back in.

 It was funny really, how he longed for nothing but silence and peace whilst surrounded by their team, but felt overwhelmingly lonely once he finally got what he so desperately wanted.

 The truth was Harry was lonely. Had been for some time. He just wanted someone to come home to. Well, he wanted to really come _home_ every so often - not to a cold hotel room - and have someone waiting for him.

 He had tried to have relationships. He’d met a lot of high profile women. The higher the profile, the shallower the person, at least that was his experience. Modest had set up dates for him with girls like Kendall Jenner and a few Victoria Secrets models, because they just looked pretty together and made for good press.

 But oh it was so boring, shallow and everything in between. It wasn’t that the girls weren’t nice. The problem was that it was all a setup, there was no slow built, no possibility to really get to know one another and build a foundation. Not when each and every move was tracked by the media.

 Modest arranged those “totally secret, no one knows about this - oh wait there are a few paparazzi”-type of dates because they wanted to divert all the rumours about him possibly being gay.

 Harry had never felt the need to define his sexuality. It was his, wasn’t it? He believed that you fall in love with a person, not a gender. It’s the personality that touches you, unravels you, not the sex of a person. At least that was his opinion.

 He had tried to mention that in an interview or two but always had been censured by their management, who in turn paid the media to leave out any hints he might have dropped.

 They didn’t care about his opinion on this, not when the public eye was involved and possibly the sales of their latest album.

 He had given up on finding someone, at least for the time being.  

He didn’t have the time for a relationship anyways.

 All these thoughts didn’t help him settle down, so before long he got up and got dressed again.

‘Perhaps driving around for a bit will help.’ he thought, before walking out the door and getting his keys back.

 The feeling of the engine coming to life underneath him, the low vibrating sound, had the calming effect he had hoped for.

 About one hour later he turned into a small side street and parked the car next to the kerb.

He sat down on the edge of the empty pavement, looking at his watch in disdain. It was 3 am in the morning. Fuck, he’d be getting next to no sleep again, the next interview was at 8 am in the morning.

 “Do you have a lighter?”

 He looked up, and into beautiful green-blue eyes, highlighted by the street lamp. They looked stunning and tired. Probably almost as tired as his, Harry noted to himself.

 “Sorry, I don’t smoke.”

 “Shame really, nah. Shouldn’t smoke either, that might be a sign right there!” the young man joked lamely.

 “Mind if I sit down next to you? Looks cosy enough.” the guy, who looked to be a fair bit smaller than Harry, asked.

 “Don’t mind me, I don’t own this street.” Harry joked right back, equally as lamely.

 “You never know, you could be some rich bloke and get highly offended by me asking!” Louis answered promptly.

 “Which is why I’m sitting on the kerb freezing my butt off.” Harry stated, only half joking, enjoying this guy’s quick-wittedness. It seemed the guy did not know who he was, it was refreshing and made him oddly happy.

 They looked at each other smiling, before they turned away, staring into nothing. A calming silence settled over them that was not uncomfortable or forced.

 “What’s your name?” the man asked. Harry contemplated what he should say, fearing being recognized.

 ‘If he hasn’t recognized me so far, he either just doesn’t know me, or he doesn’t care’ Harry thought. He wouldn’t mind either version.

 “I’m Harry, and you are?” he asked, holding out his hand for the other man to shake.

 ‘He’s beautiful.

 Wait, does one even use ‘beautiful’ where men were concerned? Shouldn’t it be ‘handsome’?’

 The guy thankfully didn’t catch on to his internal debate, and the lack of great light did hide his blush rather well. He seemed to have his own little debate inside his head. About what, Harry didn’t know.

 “I’m T… Louis.”

 Harry enclosed Louis’ smaller, cold and soft hand with his own big hand.

 “Nice to meet you T… Louis!” Harry laughed, his tired eyes crinkling, his dimples showing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and tell me what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own 1D, just a few plot bunnies here and there!  
> No harm is intended. 
> 
> Many thanks to those who left kudos, bookmarked this and left a comment.  
> You make me happy beyond words xox
> 
> As always, love to my beta, you make me look better than I am!

 

Louis POV

„So, Harry, what’s got you into this part of town?“ Louis asked, looking Harry up and down, before looking at the car Harry had been driving.

It was a beautiful vintage car, it looked rather expensive.

Louis took in Harry’s whole appearance. His clothes seemed to be some designer stuff too. He definitely didn’t belong in this low and sleazy part of the town.

It seemed as if Harry didn’t really take notice of his surroundings, his shoulders slumped, the look in his eyes forlorn, something he could definitely relate to.

Louis was still in desperate need for some cash, as he had promised Briana he would come over tomorrow so they could go shopping and buy the cute designer jacket she insisted Freddie needed. Louis wasn’t sure why his tiny boy needed it but he was in no position to get on Briana’s bad side, she made sure to remind him of that constantly.

Harry looked like he could be the solution to Louis’ problems. But he looked so kind, trusting even.

„Uhm. I just felt like driving around for a bit, and here I am!“ came his answer. Louis felt that there was more behind this.

„Seriously?“ Louis asked. „Are you sure you’ve got nothing better to do man, than being in this part of town?“

Harry looked at him strangely, as if trying to decide whether he could or should trust him.

 „I’m staying at a hotel and I just couldn’t sleep. I’ve been working crazy hours lately.“ Harry admitted, scratching the side of his head nervously, looking uncomfortable.

„Crazy hours, I get that.“ Louis laughed bitterly, rubbing his tired eyes.

„Why are you still out and about?“ Harry asked him, his eyes showing nothing but innocent curiosity.

Suddenly a car took a turn into their street and came to a stop in front of them, effectively halting their conversation.

„Are you Tom? The guy from Craigslist?“ the guy in the car asked, clearly directing his question towards Louis.

Louis swallowed hard, glancing from Harry to the guy, Timothy he thought his name was. He should really make sure to remember the names, and his dates, whilst he was at it. He had totally forgotten about him while talking to Harry.

„I... uhm ... yes, I mean...“ Louis rambled on, unsure of how to proceed. He had enjoyed talking with Harry. It had seemed so easy, comforting even.

For a little bit there he had forgotten why he was here.

„Yes, that’s me.“ he said, sighing defeatedly.

„So? What’s keeping you? Get in! I have the 50 quid we agreed on with me and I’ll give you the money beforehand, like we agreed upon!“ the guy, perhaps Timothy, said, suspiciously glancing between Harry and Louis, as if sensing that Harry could pose a threat to his nightly plans.

Louis looked at Harry, slowly shrinking in on himself, afraid to see the friendly look in Harry’s eyes being replaced by realisation and disgust.

He had felt like a normal boy while talking to Harry, not the dirty, disgusting one he had become in the last couple of months.

 

Harry POV

Harry watched the conversation unfold before him, glancing between the guy in the car and Louis. Why did he call him Tom? 50 quid? For what? What had they agreed upon?

He turned to look at Louis and was met with Louis’ reaction to the guy turning up in front of them. Louis, who had before seemed to be a funny, witty person, had now curled in on himself as if shying away from the situation, clearly embarrassed.

It slowly dawned on him what the guy in the car was referring to, what he was here for.

Harry saw Louis look at him swiftly, fear and apprehension evident in his clouded eyes.

Before Harry knew what he was saying he was opening his mouth. „Sorry, he can’t tonight. Something came up!“.

Louis looked at him sharply, apparently trying to figure out Harry’s motive, but Harry was clueless himself. It was just the first thing that came to his mind.

„Well fuck that, it took me one hour to get here and I’m not leaving without getting some!“ the guy shouted, getting rather mad. He opened his car door and got out, angrily storming towards Louis, who, as Harry noted, was shrinking in on himself even more, trying to make himself as small as possible.

„I said he’s busy tonight, so fuck off!“ Harry said, getting up and rising to his full height. The guy looked ready to punch someone, his fists balled at either side, shaking slightly.

Harry took a step closer to him, getting right into his face.

„I said leave it be! We really don’t want to cause any problems here.“ Harry said, his tone chilly, towering over the other guy threateningly, using his height to his full advantage.

The other guy seemed to be rattled by Harry’s demeanour, finally seeing reason as he was at a clear disadvantage height wise, and looking at Harry, probably strength wise as well.

„Well fuck that, and fuck you. Have fun with that little whore. Not sure he’s worth the money anyway!“ the guy shouted, his vicious eyes glancing from Louis to Harry.  
He turned on his heels angrily, got into his car and drove off, the tyres of his car squeaking.

Harry turned around and looked straight into Louis’ big eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.  
> 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings from Venice! Yep, totes took my Mac with me :)

„Are you okay?“ Harry asked Louis, looking at Louishim worriedly.

Louis just stared at him, not knowing what to say or do. The whole situation had seemed to bewas surealsurreal. He was not sure how to feel about it, about Harry, this stranger, whom he had just met, displaying concern towards himself.

„I’m okay, I guess.! Sorry, I usually handle these situations better than this., I was just caught off guard by ... well by everything really. Why did you tell him that something different came up, that I couldn’t make it?“ Louis asked, anxious for Harry’s answer.

„I don’t know, really. I just said what came to my mind. He didn’t seem like a nice guy.“ Harry said, looking at his shoes, avoiding Louis’ eyes.

„The mostly aren’t.“ was all Louis said, a bitterness in his voice.

They fell into a silence, neither of them knowing what to say.

„Uhm. Louis, would you, I mean could you, well, uhm. Can I invite you back to my hotel? Not for, you know, but just to spend some time, like, with me?“

Harry looked at Louis expectantly, adrenaline pumping through his veins. What the fuck was he doing. What wshould he do with someone like Louis? Well, it was probably quite clear what Louis would think now.

„I mean, uhm, if you want, but you don’t have to. Obviously.“ Harry stammered anxiously, looking everywhere but at Louis.

Louis was still trying tried to figure out what to say, he was completely baffled. Harry didn’t seem like the guy to pick up a hooker, but then again, they had only just met. For all he knew Harry could be a crazy ass person.

Something told Louis that the last part was not true. Harry seemed to be soft, and warm. That’s what his hand had felt like anyways. 

Harry cleared his throat and Louis realized that Harry was most probably still waiting for an answer.

„Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I asked you that. Heck, I don’t even know why I told that guy that you are already busy tonight. I’m so sorry, I’ve probably ruined your ... uh ... evening now. Shite.“ Harry rambled on, completely uncomfortable, looking anywhere but at Louis.

„It’s okay. I’m not sure he was someone I would want to be alone with anyways. I mean, he got very angry and ... well ... I’ve seen that reaction before.“ Louis stuttered, half whispering, not looking at Harry as he rambled on, his hands burriedburied in his pockets, his fringe falling into his eyes, shielding them from Harry’s inquisitive lookones.

Harry watchedlooked at Louis closely, the way he was hunched over, his frame shivering, remembering how cold his hand had been. Only then did he take a closer look at the smaller man, taking note of the thin looking jacket, too thin to keep him warm in this weather, his worn outworn-out shoes and pale skin.

Louis was clearly freezing. 

„Look, I don’t want to make this uncomfortable, but you look like you are freezing your toes off and I’m clearly at fault for your, uhm, loss of income tonight. I mean what I said. Will you accompany me?. I swear, I don’t want anything besides your company. We could watch some TV and you could warm up some. I could brew us a cup of tea. I think I even have some biscuits.“ Harry said, clearly out of his element. „I’ll compensate you for your losses!“ Harry added as an afterthought.

Louis narrowed his eyes, clearly trying to figure out if Harry’s words were to be believed. He was still sort of embarrassed by the situation that had unfolded a couple of minutes ago. „Please don’t be mad, but ... what’s in it for you? What do you want with someone like me?“ Louis asked, glancing up briefly.

„Just a bit of company, really that’s it. You seem to be nice.“ Harry whispered, afraid to tell Louis just how pathetically lonely he was. Lonely enough to pay for the company of the first person he came across.

Louis seemed to be thinking about his offer for some time, before answering quietly. „Okay.“

Harry let out a breath he had not been aware he was holding b. Before turning around and leading Louis to his car. He could not believe he was really taking this guy, whom he had just met, to his hotel room. What the fuck was he doing?

Louis, who was unaware of Harry’s inner turmoil, slowly got up and followed Harry silently. The prospect of some hot teaa hot chocolate sounded just too goodreat to be true, but Louis decided not to overthink this. He had been in really bad situations, always finding a ways out, so this would be no different.

They stopped in front of Harry’s beautiful car, Harry motioning for Louis to get in. Louis got into the passenger seat, trying to take in the beautiful interior of the vintage car, wanting to run his fingers over the dashboard, but refraining from doing so. He really didn’t want to jinx it, and Harry had been so nice so far., Wwho knew if he liked having his car touched.

„Buckle up.“ Harry said, turning to Louis and Louis did just that, smiling a little bit at Harry’s drive-safely-instructions.

Harry started his car, sighing happily, before putting his car in gear and getting onto the nearly empty street. 

As tThey drove into the centre of town,. Louis was looking out of the window, watching as they passed by several closed shops and a few groups of people here and there, enjoying the warmth that was blasting out of the heating.

The radio was on, softly playing in the background. Silence had settled over them, Harry and Louisboth of them steaeling surrepititious glances at each other every now and then. 

After about 15 minutes Harry brought his car to a halt, rolling down the window. Louis looked over to ut the driver’s side Harry’s window, his eyes widening as he saw that they were right outside of Leeds’Leeds’s most posh hotel.

A vawallet walked up to the car. „Welcome back, Sir. Do you want me to park your car for you?“ Tthe middle aged man was, wearing a perfectly pressed uniform greeted Harry. 

Louis watched dumbly as Harry beckoned the vawallet to come closer, whispering something toward the man. 

Harry and the walletThey seemed to be getting to reach some kind of agreement, because Harry rolled up his window and drove to the backside of the hotel. They waited a bit and before long the wallet valet was standing next to the car., as Harry motioned for Louis to get out, before handing his keys over to the hotel employee.

They were greeted by another hotel staff, who in turn asked them to follow him. Harry was glancing around nervously, scanning his surroundings, for what, Louis didn’t know.

The two of them were led through a back entrance and Louis wondered for the hundredth time what was going on. Was Harry some secret agent? What had he gotten himself into?

Harry and Louis were led to the elevator, Harry slipping some bills into the employee’s hand.  
Once inside Harry pressed the top button, getting them to the top floor. As far as Louis knew that was where the penthouses and suites were, right?

He was proven right when Harry led him to one of only a handful oflast rooms on the floor and from what Louis had seen there were only a few rooms up here..

Harry unlocked the door, walking in before Harry.

„Uhm. This is it, make yourself at home!“ Harry said, looking at Louis unsure, whilst taking off his jacket and his beanie, revealing a mess of shiny brown curls.

Harry looked familiar to him, but he couldn’t really pinpoint why that was. Dismissing the thought, Louis stepped in, taking in the huge suite. Louis had never been somewhere like this. It was very beautiful with huge windows, cream walls and a soft light carpet. There was a sitting area with a very comfy looking couch, a small table with a bottle of iced champagne on top of it and a few expensive looking paintings on the wall. Well at least they looked expensive to him, but he knew nothing about art.

Louis was unsure what to do next., Aas if sensing this Harry said „You can go and have a look., Ddon’t mind me, I’ll just make us some tea, like I said!“

Louis shrugged his shoulders, but took his shoes off before venturing on, the carpet being soft underneath his socked feet.

He wandered from room to room, taking in the beautiful bathroom, which was equipped with a glass shower that could easily fit around 6 people and an inviting looking whirlpool bathtub. 

He caught his reflection in the giant mirror, noting his pale, drawn complexion. He shook his head and sighed, turning around and leaving the bathroom.

The opened the door to the last room, only then realizing that this must be Harry’s bedroom. In the middle was a big, comfy looking kingsizeking-size bed. 

„That’s the bedroom.“ Harry supplied unnecessarily from behind him, and air of nervousness around himthem. 

Louis nodded, before closing the door again, not comfortable with being in Harry’s bedroom and what his presence in there might imply. He was here and he was well aware of what he did to earn money, but all he felt was suffocatingly awkward. What would he do, should Harry change his mind and ask him for ... favours. 

He took a deep breath, calming his nerves. He needed to get past this. He should do it, that was if Harry asked for it. He sure had had worse customers and he could probably charge him more as well, seeing as how Harry was most probably rich.

„The tea is ready!“ Harry called out to Louis, shaking him from his inner ramblings. 

Louis was thankful for the interruption as he walked . Walking up to Harry, who was currently in the small kitchen area. 

Damn, this hotel room probably offered the same size as the house he lived in with his mother and 5 siblings.

Harry looked around the room, unsure on how to proceed. „How about we sit down on the couch and turn on the TV?“

„Sounds great!“ Louis said, taking one mug out of Harry’s clammy hand.

They got down on the couch and, Harry switcheding on the TV. 

„Any preferences?“ Harry asked, looking at Louis expectantly.

„No, whatever you choose is fine by me.“ Louis answered, bringing the cup to his lips, carefully checking the temperature of the tea.

Harry settled on an episode of The Big Bang Theory, looking at Louis for confirmation, who in turn nodded in afirmation.

They watched for a bit, the tension slowly leaving Harry’s body. He glanced at Louis every now and then, trying to figure out what the fuck he was doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every feedback is appreciated


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual: This is all fiction!

As they were watching the TV, Harry got more and more tired, his eyes slowly drifting closed. He was startled out of his doze when Louis spoke up. 

„I should probably leave.“ He sounded uncomfortable.

Harry looked around, blinking, slowly getting his bearings. He glanced at his watch, shocked to see that it was already 6 am. 

„How long have I been asleep for?“ Harry asked groggily.

„I think for about 2 hours.“ Louis answered. 

„Sorry about that.“ Harry said sheepishly. „I was dead tired.“ 

Louis shrugged his shoulders, not really bothered. He got up, ready to leave but paused to look at Harry, unsure of what to do or say.

„Well thanks, Harry. I guess. It was… interesting.“ Louis said, at a loss for words.

„Thanks for staying. I know this must seem very weird. You must think I’m a total loser.“ Harry laughed deprecatingly. 

„No, it’s okay. Don’t worry.“ Louis said, not knowing what else to say. He didn’t think he was in any position to judge.

Harry got up and walked Louis to the door. He stopped at his jacket to remove his wallet 

„What do I owe you?“ he asked, feeling sick to his stomach that he was about to pay for company. ‚Think of it like customer service. It’s all okay.‘ he thought to himself, trying to calm himself. His inner pep talk didn’t really help. He felt like crying, he wanted to be held close and told that everything would be okay, the way his mom would, when he was still a little boy. So much had changed since then.

He missed his mom. He decided to call her later today, knowing that talking to her usually helped. He definitely wouldn’t tell her about his latest encounter however, he knew his mom was already worrying enough about him as it was. 

„Uhm, well… we didn’t really do anything, so, nothing really. Sorry, but that was all really weird, I have no idea what to say.“ Louis said, the hilariousness hitting him, causing him to smile up at Harry, breaking the tension.

Harry joined him, thankful that Louis could see the humour in all of this, even though he had trouble doing so as well.

„No, really, I kept you from… well from whatever else you would have been getting up to, so… is this enough?“ he asked, holding out 300 pounds. 

Louis looked at him wide-eyed. „That’s way too much, Harry. Seriously! I can’t take that!“   
Despite that, he glanced at the money nervously, thinking about what he would be able to do with all that money. He could buy food for the week for his family and make Briana happy. But he just didn’t feel right taking all that from Harry, even though he could clearly afford it. But why should he take money from Harry? It was not like he had earned the money.

Harry stared at his feet, unsure of what to do. He could clearly see that Louis could use the money but was definitely too stubborn to take it.

„Let me at least give you the money for a cab back, or wherever you want to go.“ Harry said, handing Louis 50 pounds. 

It was clearly too much, but Louis could see that it would be no use discussing this with Harry. He had definitely set his mind on paying Louis for his time. This had definitely been better than what Louis would have usually done. His time with Harry having been a nice break, he felt like a human being around Harry, which he did less and less every time he did what he did.

Louis took the money, already knowing that he would not waste the money on a cab. 

„Thanks for stopping by, I guess?“ Harry said, slowly leading Louis to the door, as if not wanting him to leave. Harry handed Louis his beanie, holding his jacket, whilst Louis slipped into his worn Toms.

Taking the jacket from Harry’s outstretched hands, he slipped it on, getting out of the suite as Harry held open the door. He had nearly reached the elevator when he heard Harry call out his name.

„Louis! One more thing? Could you please take the same way out we took in?“ Harry asked, looking at Louis anxiously. 

Louis shrugged indifferently. „No problem man, see you around!“ he said, before turning to leave.

Louis did as he had promised, taking the same way out that they had taken in. He felt a bit like a cheating man, stealing out in the middle of the night, trying to avoid the crazy, jealous boyfriend.

‚Or like a dirty little secret.‘ he thought to himself bitterly, quickly dismissing the thought again, not giving it any opportunity to fester.

He drew his flimsy jacket tightly around himself. It had been so warm in that damn hotel room, on that couch, simply watching telly. He couldn’t remember when he had last done that. He had kept looking at Harry, noting how the man’s eyes slowly drifted close, his breathing becoming even.  
It had been so inviting to just do the same, curl up on the couch, rest his head on one of the many soft pillows and simply fall asleep. However, no matter how much he wanted to do that, he couldn’t afford following through. He needed to keep his barriers up, keep the distance and remember himself of what he was. 

That was why he had kept sitting next to Harry, at a safe distance, watching TV and drinking his already cold tea. 

What he did instead was think about how his life had changed. His life nowadays consisted of work, work and more work. He worked at the local grocery store during the day and wandered the streets at night, meeting up with another type of customer. He was always on edge, never knowing what to expect.

Louis rubbed his hands, trying to get them to warm up. He stopped at the nearest bus stop, sitting down and getting ready to wait. A bus ride would save him a lot of money, which meant he could use the money for his son. He buried his hands in the pocket of his jacket, startling when he noticed a bundle of paper that hadn’t been there yesterday when he put it on. When he pulled out his hand, he was holding 50 pound bills in it, a total of 6 to be exact.

At first he was just shocked, drawing up a blank, before realisation hit him. Harry had put the money there when holding his jacket, after he had refused to take the money. 

Louis was torn between returning the money and keeping it. In the end he decided on the latter. He was elated beyond believe, thinking about the possibilities the money offered to him. He would be able to go a few days without hitting the streets again, and help his mom buy a shitload of food today, enough to suffice them for at least this week, and he could give some to Briana.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this happy, this relieved.

Only then did he think about his time with Harry. It had been weird really. Harry seemed to have lots of money, considering the car, the clothes, the hotel room. He had been very kind, almost shy. Harry had seemed so lonely, despite everything that had surrounded him. 

Louis couldn’t fathom why someone like Harry would feel lonely. He was a charming, good looking guy, his grin sweet, his dimples endearing. There should be many people who would love to spend time with him for free. Still he had decided to spend his time with Louis.

Louis shook himself. Harry was none of his business and he would probably never see him again, which was fine by Louis, really.

It was around one hour later when he finally arrived at home, toeing off his boots once he was inside, shouting “I’m home!” as a sort of greeting. Within seconds Daisy and Phoebe were running towards him, hugging him tightly. 

Louis had always been really tight with his family. He’d helped a lot, raising the twins Daisy and Phoebe. 

“Hey Louis, where have you been?” Phoebe asked, inquisitive as always.

“I was hanging out with some friends. Where’s mum?” he asked. 

“In the kitchen, we’re about to leave for school.” Daisy said grumpily. 

Louis ruffled her hair, causing his sister to roll her eyes before stomping off. He moved into the kitchen and helped his mother get everything cleaned up again, before they handed everyone their lunch boxes and sent them on their way to school.

Once everyone was gone, Louis went to his mum and hugged her tightly. She sighed, clearly exhausted. She was always so exhausted. Louis had tried talking to Mark, his dad, to help them some. His sisters would probably enjoy spending some time with their dad and their mom could use some time to relax, would make sure to give him a call later this week. 

“Hey, I thought we could go grocery shopping in a bit. I’ll take you.” he said. “I got paid earlier this time.” he lied, not wanting to make her suspicious. He would do everything to keep her from finding out about his latest occupation. It would break his mom’s heart.

“Of course darling, let me just finish my cup of coffee and get my bag.” Jo said, affectionately petting his cheek.

Louis and his mom were very close. He always thought she believed in him more than he believed in himself. He felt obligated to help her. She was such great mother, always putting everyone before herself.

They went food shopping and for once Louis went overboard. He bought something for each of his sisters, and added some things that would last them well into next week. When they went to the checkout, Louis handed the cashier the bills and his mother looked at him, shocked but happy. A tired but relieved smile played around her lips. 

They drove home and he carried all the bags inside by himself, mock-fighting with his mother about it just like they usually did.

In the afternoon he went over to Briana’s house, his heart thumping loudly at the prospect of spending time with his son. He was over the moon because he’d get to spend time with Freddie and Briana would be happy because they got to go shopping. 

Louis had kept his word and was therefore granted a day of peace, cuddling his son close. He cherished it to the fullest. Freddie was such a sweet little boy, always able to put a smile on Louis’ face.

A day like this made Louis wish he could meet someone like Harry more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I need is love ... *sings*

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is the first story I've written in aaaages.  
> Be kind, but be honest.  
> Reviews and such are always welcome.


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